back at work

I'm at work. It's going to be slow going.

My head is already swimming! 

no sense

I can't smell anything

I can't sense anything 

sore throat

So painful, no voice, scared to use lozenges

Can't call health line... Can't talk. 

No energy to find help on line. 

covid

No voice no sense of smell 

Rabbit holes

1. Felt fantails

2. Mentalisation

3. FASD

Felt fantails - I'm ordering felt from Australia. I'm stabbing my hands several times a night. I don't have all the equipment I need to do it professionally. I would like to. I would like to sell them and get some money flow. 

Mentalisation - we have an option to study through Australia! Exciting as it means no 1000pound 11pm start course. It also means a flight and holiday if I choose to stay longer. It means another qualification. 

FASD - I couldn't find enough information/training/courses on SUDs in babies. I also had a client get a FASD diagnosis and I was super curious. I've made some inquiries: NZ organisation's for whānau support, Chch organisation's which do diagnoses, International organisation's courses and research. I completed the Sydney University modules - that was exceptional! I've signed up with FASD-CAN - but as a professional I don't get the Resource Pack for free and I am broke.... so this may take a while. I'm sure that I could get reimbursed for this.... but since my last reimbursement hasn't come through and I submitted it three weeks ago, I'm not sure whether I should. Also, I got in touch with the Diagnosis specialist (they are in Auckland) who will set up a meeting with their Chch branch after the school holidays. There's one last thing..... I found a place in America that make dolls!!!! I am very keen on getting one. I think it would be exceptional for my kete. 

Trying to decide what I want to study next year, I think it's a toss up between BT (Waikato) and perinatal MH (Otago). Both benefit from FASD, and FASD is enough until I find the right path to move into SUD in babies. 

over half way through July

I'm getting bad at blogging. I think about blogging as I walk to work but I fear dropping my flash phone. I get a great idea on the walk and want to write it down and as I walk in... It vanishes from my mind.

Work is fine. I have a new team lead with no registration. He's afraid of me. He's also afraid of confrontation. He also has hour long meetings every day with the manager. I know they discuss me there.

I haven't gotten much better health wise. The iron liquid has clogged up my system and my body hurts - stomach to expulsion. If I miss one day of my new routine I feel depleted and extreme inertia. Like right now. As I sit at the mall.

I applied for a job in Australia. Just because I could. I was describing it to my clinical supervisor, after describing my panic of starting the next semester without a caseload and having three team assignments, when I got an email from my old work asking me to reconsider coming back.... Where I would have a caseload. 

I've decided to dive into FASD. I've reached out to an organization which does diagnosis in Christchurch. Annnnnnd since I can diagnose now because I passed my first semester.... I could quite easily shift into the area.

FASD is always on my mind after the hospital took one of my kids for a couple of hours after birth and brought them back to say they didn't have FASD. I don't remember asking them to test. They definitely didn't tell me they were taking my kid for the specific reason of testing them. Annnnnnd.... Now that I know how to diagnose FASD, I know that there's very little criteria. My kid was 5 weeks over due, so they were born with a ridge from being lodged in the birth canal for so long. This can be a sign of FASD.

Gotta go. I have drexels waiting.