SUDs they are all the same (11 criteria) apart from the withdraw.
I've made a mind map: 1 my front door, 2 the coat rack, 3 the laundry, 4 the kitchen, 5 the dishwasher, 6 the rubbish bin, 7 shoe rack, 8 the record player, 9 my desk, 10 one side of my cabinet, and 11 the other side of my cabinet.
I will endeavor to make another mind map for the withdrawals and other diagnoses.
Walking to work I started thinking about triggers.... Why we do stuff. How many things are unknown to us and others and how Johari window fits into this. The example I started with: walking to work. Obviously I walk to work every day at the same time and communtors will see me if they are traveling at the same time. I wonder if they are curious about me, or judging (I don't think judgment is negative, I believe it is a part of the human condition) my outfits or use of cell phone while walking or lack of umbrella.
Blind self - what I look like from behind, how I look while walking
Hidden self - I used to walk to work in Wellington and I got really skinny (49kgs size 6), I am weight conscious currently and using the walk to work as a step count. I have a vehicle but it has broken down in rush hour traffic on the way to work previously and I worry it will happen again.
Unknown self - ???? this one always gets me. What I would do if there was an accident or a natural disaster while I walked.
So, I walk to work. My behaviour is defined by the Johari window quite nicely: motivation, previous experience, social concepts, routine, feelings. Where do triggers fit?
Cramming the Dsm 5, and the conversations I have been having lately, relate to triggers. The fleeting concept of guns are reactivity floats through my mind. Are triggers always proceeded by explosive behaviours?
I saw a bucket hat in the petrol station this morning while I got a soy latte. It triggered my brain to fire neural pathways into my memory of my ex returning from America and hugging my friends by lifting them up and spinning them around. It threw in my ex best friend who I may have accidentally walked into the other day on the way to work. Then I smiled thinking about another ex and his bucket hat obsessive thoughts that it made him cute in photos. These three men (boys then) were/are friends. Something triggered me, in this case a bucket hat. Did I know it would trigger me? no. Did I know it was there? no. Did it impact my walk to work? yes - I thought about blogging the experience. Are they intrusive thoughts? kind of. I don't want to remember all this stuff. None of it is overly negative. Knowing my ex bf wants nothing to do with me makes me ache: I want to fold over internally until I can't fold anymore. Knowing my ex got in contact with me recently and he can't remember swinging my friends around at a petrol station after he returned from America makes me feel a sense of grandure: I'm lucky to have a memory. And being able to laugh at my other ex and his egocentric nature has always been a relief to me.
This doesn't help me fit triggers into my process. Triggers are my high priority atm due to the Compass that I'm doing. How does one know their triggers? Previously been triggered? Linked to motivation? This is where I'm stuck. I can't ask "what are your triggers" as much as I can't ask "what make you do the things you do" because there will never be a set list to fit into that box, there will always be a story, even for the smallest trigger of a bucket hat.
Bonus today:
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